Where I Am

When I was an undergraduate, I spent a semester of my junior year studying abroad in Cambridge, England.  It was four of the most amazing months of my life. Upon returning home, however, I was surprised to realize that everybody else’s lives – those of my friends and my family – had moved on without me.  Rather, I was surprised that I hadn’t realized that of course their lives were going on as usual.  I was so caught up in my once-in-a-lifetime experience that I forgot that things would have changed when I got back.  There were no drastic changes, but I had somehow failed to expect to need to catch up on their lives after my four-month absence.  Selfish?  Solipsistic?  Yes.  But there it was.

In the past 6 months or so, approximately 8,604 (more or less) of my friends have either given birth or announced their pregnancy.  Okay, maybe not that many.  But a lot.  Every time I turn around it seems like another friend is giving birth of announcing that she’s expecting.

And I am thrilled for them.  Absolutely, positively thrilled.

But.

The vast majority of these friends (of all of my friends, really) still live in Kentucky.  Or, at least, they don’t live in Tallahassee. And though Dave and I still have our fingers crossed that eventually we will get to move back to our home state, it’s definitely quite a ways off (if it were to happen at all).  In the meantime, the birth announcements of these friends reminds me that their lives are moving on without me being there. And that’s as it should be.  

Having my bubble bursted – that ridiculous bubble that says that everyone’s life will wait to move forward until I am able to be a part of it again – hurts just a little bit, but it’s also a very, very good thing.  It reminds me that I have to be in the here and now.  I want to be with my friends as they go through this amazing process – both the good and the bad parts of it.  But the reality of it is that I’m hundreds of miles away.

So though I can’t be there physically, I have to remember to be better at being there emotionally.  So I send cards.  And I call more often.  And I send emails with cool baby things I’ve found (I live, and procrastinate, vicariously).  And I pray that they know how ecstatic I am for them, even though I can’t offer them the hug they so deserve to prove it.

Today a friend told me some advice her major professor gave her regarding the process leading up to our comps: “You have to let people be where they are.”  For her it meant that you can’t force your committee to be more involved than they are. But for me, its significance is more literal.  I have to let myself be where I am and I have to live my life as it is now, not as my crossed fingers hope it will one day be.

And my life as it is now includes being thrilled that there will be so many babies waiting for me to play with the next time I visit Kentucky.

Making My Own Fall Break

One of the most annoying things about FSU is that they don’t provide any kind of fall break.  Now, I’m not picky.  I don’t need a week or anything extravagant like that.  But can I please have one measly day off in the middle of the semester?  I mean, sheesh, I only teach twice a week but right about now I just need one stinkin’ day when my brain thinks I should be teaching that I get to not go to class.  It’s more of a psychological holiday than anything.  But no.  I have to struggle through until November until we randomly get Veteran’s Day off and then the two required days for Thanksgiving.  Thanks for your generosity FSU…

To remedy the problem during this semester when I need a small break more than any time before, I am making my own fall break.  Tomorrow Dave and I head to Mt. Dora, Florida to spend the weekend with Dave’s grandfather.  Dave and Papa will spend their time cycling with hundreds of other cycling-fanatics.  I will go antique shopping, get a head start on my Christmas list, and, mostly, try to get lots of reading done.  But even though I’ll be working most of the time I’m down there, just being able to leave Tallahassee and relax in a nice hotel and eat lovely food someone else prepares for me will do a lot of good for me psychologically.

Of course, that could all be ruined if Potter decides to eat his pet sitter.  Wish us luck on that front.  I think he’ll do fine; I think Dave is terrified.  Luckily our pet sitter is a tough New Yorker, so I think we’ll be okay.

Either way, I am leaving this apartment for the next three days and this fall break, official or otherwise, could not come at a better time.

:::

On an unrelated not, my amazing friend Katie gave birth to her beautiful little girl, Maddy, yesterday afternoon.  While telling Dave how happy I am for the newly-expanded Williams family, it suddenly occurred to me that, if Barack Obama wins this election, Maddy will grow up never questioning whether or not an African American will ever be President of the United States.  Cool, huh?  Hopefully the next generation will be able to have the same experience with a woman in charge.

Shower-in-a-Box

My friend Katie is having a baby.  I know I’ve mentioned that fact on this blog before.  I’ve probably also mentioned that she will be the first of our group of friends from college to become a mom. The only slight downside about the impending arrival of Maddy is that, because Katie and her husband Bryan currently live in west Texas, our group of friends couldn’t throw her the amazing baby shower she rightly deserves. So, we decided to send her shower to her in a box.

It began with the outside of the box informing her that she was receiving a “shower-in-a-box” from Tara, Tina, Beth, and I.  When she opened the first of the two boxes, she saw this:

We invited Katie to her own shower, so she’d know to show up.  Then she had instructions informing her that the first box contained gifts from each of us individually.  This is what I sent:

Katie has been known to self-decorate shirts with iron-ons before, so I decided to max out my creativity by making some one-of-a-kind onesies for Maddy.  The one in the middle is my favorite.

This is what Tara, Tina, and Beth sent, respectively:

The she got to open the second box, which contained collective gifts from the four of us:

Maddy’s due date is October 10, so she will be here for Halloween.

On the left is the world’s softest (and cutest) blanket.  On the right is a cute hooded towel.

And then the “big” gift:

I swear it’s cuter than it appears!  We know Katie loves monogramming, so we figure Maddy will, too. Even though this is technically a diaper bag, it’s versatile enough that Maddy will be able to use it for whatever she wants.

I was so excited when Katie picked up her packages yesterday.  I love the “reveal” of knowing a secret that will make someone happy.  And, sure enough, Katie loved everything (yay!).  I hope that it’s all super helpful for her and, if nothing else, shows her how much we love and miss her…and that we can’t wait to meet Maddy!

So that’s the fun secret I’ve been wanting to tell you about for weeks and weeks.  Got any fun secrets you want to share with me?

Welcome, Sweet Girl

Yesterday my good, sweet, and wonderful friends, Stephen and Nicole Martin, welcomed their second child into the world. Kylie Sophia Martin was born at 10:03pm on March 3, weighing 7lbs 7oz and measuring 19.5 inches long. She is a very lucky girl to be born into such a kind, loving family.  I know that Stephen and Nicole are ecstatic to meet their little girl and that little brother Elijah will fulfill his older sibling role with gusto.

As far as I go, however, sweet Kylie’s birth is slightly bittersweet for me.  Almost two years ago, Elijah (Stephen and Nicole’s son) was born and I was in the hospital almost the whole time Nicole was in labor, and I held the handsome little guy within hours of his birth. I can’t wait to meet Kylie, but I’m sad she’ll be two or three months old by the time I get to say hello to her. It’s my own fault (darn you PhD!), but I miss being there for my friends and their growing families in times like these.  But for now I’ll just welcome Kylie from afar and let the entire Martin crew know how happy I am for them.  Love you guys and congratulations!

Beginnings

For those of you that don’t know, Dave is NOT a morning person. In fact, he’s probably the opposite of a morning person. And whereas I like to give myself more than enough time to get ready so that I can have a leisurely morning, Dave allots only enough so that he can barely get everything done and get to work. So, even on mornings when we’re both up and roughly the same time, we barely see each other. I give myself an hour and a half though it only takes me an hour to get ready (at the most) and have my coffee, some breakfast, check my e-mail and take my time getting ready. Dave, on the other hand, gives himself 20 minutes to shower, shave, dress, and get out the door. I barely see him he’s moving so quickly.

Well, this week Dave has twice accomplished something he’s never before been able to do: get up and go to the gym or run in the morning. Tuesday he got up at 6 and went to the gym to swim and this morning he got up at 5:30 and ran. Though this is shocking in and of itself, more surprising is that he still had far more than enough time to get ready. So, he got to be leisurely. And because these both happened to be mornings when I was up early, we got to spend out mornings together, something it seems we only ever do on Saturdays (and even then only sometimes). We had coffee in bed together and got to have actual conversations with each other before we went our separate ways. It was so calming and ever somehow luxurious. I don’t know how long this trend will keep up, but for now it’s quite nice.

The other more exciting beginning is that my friend Claire gave birth to a bouncing baby boy yesterday at 9:45am. His name is Elliot and, though I haven’t gotten to see him yet, I’m sure he’s insanely cute. Congrats Claire!

Back to Blogging, and Off to Other Things

I’ve been a very bad blogger lately. I admit it. With all of my myriad forms of procrastination, I can’t imagine why blogging didn’t factor in. But it didn’t. And now David has become a much better blogger than me, so I have to get back into it. So, to wet my toes, I’m going to attempt a quick pictorial rundown of my summer thus far:

Well, I graduated with my MA (I’m the cute one on the far right). I admit it felt weird; it was somewhere between reliving the past and becoming a grown-up. But, the separate graduate school graduation was great. All of my favorite profs were there, my family and friends. Good, good times were had.

Two days after graduation, on Mother’s Day, my niece was born. She’s adorable and looks exactly like my sister, which is kind of weird because that means she looks a lot like I did when I was born. I’ve tried to cram as much time as possible in with her this summer because I’m afraid I’m going to miss so much over the next five years. But I love her, and my nephew is SO cute with her. Being an aunt is absolutely awesome.

Then we spent a weekend with these people…

who we love and miss SO much. And their sweet baby is getting so big and adorable…

it’s nice to know that we’ll be just two hours away from them once we move. We’ll at least know someone within driving distance!

Then, the big trip: Spain. It was wonderful. Dave has decided that for the rest of our lives we will travel abroad every three years, which I am more than fine with. I could tell you a lot about it, but you should just go. It’s amazing.

I love this picture…it’s so typically us. Plus there’s the amazing history that covers Spain in the background. I love traveling.

And then we spent the fourth of July with my family in Evansville and I got to hang out with this amazing three year-old:

He really is the coolest kid. I am constantly amazed at what a wonderful mother my sister is. She’s done a great job. Logan is a blast to be around and even his typical toddler temper tantrums aren’t that bad. He’s just too cool.

But now it’s almost the end of July. We move to Tallahassee on July 31, and I’m excited, and terrified. I can’t believe I’m moving so far away. I mean, I never intended to stay in Kentucky forever, but I also never knew it would be so hard to leave. We just have the most amazing friends here. And our families are just close enough:) Now everything we know and love is going to be far away. I know in my head that by the end of these five years, we’ll love Tallahassee, too. But for now, anyway, my heart longs for Kentucky. It’s been an exceptional summer, but now it’s back to reality. I’ll let you know how it goes.